Setting boundaries when your children are adults

Have you ever thought about how to set boundaries for your adult children? Many children over the age of eighteen still require involvement from parents for things like emotional energy, living quarters, money and training. We should all plan for this so that we are better able to understand how adult children are to be parented.

Most eighteen year olds will find it difficult to move into a place of their own and support themselves; also perhaps pay for vocational or educational training. Using parental support as a way for your child to work towards independence can only be a good thing. Any help you can give your son or daughter to help the transition into adulthood is positive and good.

In this way your parenting skills will move from imposing consequences to allowing your child to make his or her decisions, experiencing the results. This does mean that you are not to bail out your child following a bad decision; including not paying overdue credit cards, not paying for traffic accidents or tickets, etc.

You should be able to tell your child about your concerns; they should speak respectfully to you, interact with you and use acceptable language. You should treat your child like an adult, listening to his/her concerns, do not involve yourself in their private business and speak respectfully to them.

Your child should adapt to you and not disrupt your life. They should get home at a reasonable hour, not expect you to wait up for them, so impose a curfew if necessary. Give them ground rules that will stop you from getting annoyed and worrying. You need to enjoy your own life, so it is within reason for you to stop an activity in your house that may prevent you sleeping or enjoying your life.


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