Parents should remember they were young once when berating their offspring

If it’s not one thing it’s another. Kids in every generation have horrified their elders for similar reasons: kids are adventurous practically by definition, and they do love to fly in the face of rules and restrictions, often just to see how far they can go, or to get attention, or just for the pure fun of it. (Most parents will recall this, if they think about it.)

Parents from time immemorial have fought losing battles with their offspring, but patience and open lines of communication can reduce the battle to a manageable give-and-take with a whole lot less pain and stress for all concerned. Presently there are many parents in the UK in a state of horror at the popularity of Skunk, a potent form of marijuana.

Like any journey into the unknown, parenting can be a frightening experience. Getting as much information as possible about the lay of the land ahead before charging into it makes good sense. Rather than reacting with panic (which almost assures bad decisions) when you discover your youngster has discovered the allure of Skunk, there are ways of dealing with the situation in a calm, reasonable manner that work much better.

Remember that you are dealing with a kid, and you used to be one, but now you’re the adult. Kids need and expect guidelines that are logical and acceptable; you have to provide those guidelines and you have to enforce them, lovingly but firmly. Not so easy to do, of course, but that’s the goal. Flying into a rage or disintegrating in tears are not going to solve any problems, only make them worse.

More often than not an experienced third party mediator can be a great help in opening the lines of communication – and in refereeing the contest of wills. There will be times that you simply must scream and beat your head against a wall; be sure your kid doesn’t know about it. Your role as parent is to be the calm, steadying influence that every kid requires, though it’s unlikely they’ll admit it.

1 comment to Parents should remember they were young once when berating their offspring

  • Kelly Smith

    I find it difficult to control my children and even though I remember feeling upset towards my own parents for being shouted at, I just can’t help but repeat the pattern. :(

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